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"You need not suffer, but to live": 5 common questions about change and relocation answered by a psychologist

Psychologist Olga Losich, who works with both IT specialists and representatives of other professions, regularly answers questions on Instagram that are asked by worried people in countries around the world. The Anywhere Club blog publishes some of the most common questions and responses from a professional.

Psychologist Olga Losich

Should I leave the country I live in now?

— There is no one-size-fits-all advice here. What is good for one person is not necessarily good for another. So, when you make your decision, it is important not to be guided by trends or panic. Emigration is a very difficult life event, it adds new stress to the stress that is already there. The bottom-line question is: what do you lose here, and what do you gain there? Emigration is justified if you gain more (albeit in the future) by moving than you lose by staying. Therefore, it is necessary to answer the questions: "What are the specifics of my situation? What do I acquire by going there, and what do I lose by staying here?"

— What if you are just tired of weighing arguments about relocation?

— There will always be doubts. Our brain is wired to weigh everything and argue. In such an unsettled situation, when both options seem to be equally good or bad, it is necessary to make a strong-willed decision. And that will be the final decision! By this we mean first you make a decision, and then your brain will perfectly argue for it. Once that happens, you no longer weigh anything, but instead focus on its implementation. It's like you have no other option: there is only this choice, you’ve made it, and now you need not suffer, but live.

— How do I overcome the fear of adapting to a new country?

— To adapt to another country, you need to set aside reluctance and resistance, and accept that the only possible path is to adapt. If you want to live – really live - and not suffer in exile (since you did emigrate), you have no other option but to adapt. We must give ourselves that setting. People who say they cannot adapt do not really want to do so. Their focus is not on adaptation, and not on what they can do to move themselves forward, but instead is on their past experiences, sadness, and longing for their homeland.

— How do I cope with my fear of change?

— Fear of change is absolutely normal. Our brain does not like new things: new things mean that you have to strain, to rebuild. Therefore, recognize and accept your fear and continue to go and do, despite the fear. Give yourself the chance to move on and up, and welcome new experiences.

— We are going to move to another country. How do we deal with the fear of the unknown?

— The unknown is now our reality. We need to learn how to live with it. Eliminate all expectations, realize that events may unfold in completely unanticipated ways. Accepting this will help you more easily survive surprises. Identify the things that you can control now, resolve those issues, and move forward with the understanding that you will decide everything as it arises in the course of events. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. We can do this.

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